


Oh God...

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [117]
Category: nonfandom
Genre: Bad Spanish, Crack, Not PC, Not to be taken seriously, Offensive, Other, Religious Parody, españa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 08:55:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14445783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: Another meeting of the Gods.This time, there’s a new arrival...And, um... Pamtri?





	Oh God...

**Author's Note:**

> As said in the tags, this will offend you probably. It’s also very poorly written.
> 
> I’m sorry that this exists. I had bad writer’s block today...

168.) A new, rebellious member of an interdimensional Council of Gods.

It was a Monday morning in some parts of some dimensions, and a Zeta 41 in others, and in some still it was the fourty-third of rambunction in the quadriple ex-tyme. Slowly the various deities of the multiverse shuffled into the meeting room. No one wanted to be there, but they had all been summoned.

Yahweh got the worst seat ever whenever they met in this particular room. He grumbled irritably as he found himself between Jesus and Satan. Jesus was alright, sure, but Satan? Insufferable. How she got goddess status for running Hell he had no idea. And the worst part? She blocked him off from the one person he’d been dying to see since a certain ex-goddess helped Satan to steal him away. Michael sat on the other side of Satan, blue eyes darting around the room, never lingering on one deity, never staring, never landing on him. Yahweh grimaced. He hated that boy as much as he loved him. In an omnibenevolent way, of course! The way a God loves his creations. Not... like that. Obviously.

ANYWAY. Once everyone was seated (well, a couple were floating above their seats but still) the arguments broke out. Many equivalents of Satan (including some big red kind of camp guy with horns and goat hooves and a masochism kink?) began to fight with their versions of God, and the same happened across the room with various nemeses until the room was filled with violence and war.

Then the doors burst open. 

Everyone stopped and turned to look. Satan (the female one mentioned earlier) instinctively moved towards her brother to protect him as he did the same to her. Jesus excitedly bounded over to the new arrival. The previously mentioned ex-goddess grinned from where she was spying through the door and watched her own god walk through those doors like a boss.

España was an APH Spain faceclaim with three turtles hitching rides on his body. One sat on his head and wore 8-bit awesome MLG glasses with a blond ahoge sticking up above them. Another sat on his left shoulder. This turtle had moving and static pictures alike flashing across his shell, although he looked like an ordinary turtle besides that. He sobbed constantly, not even pausing for breath. The final turtle sat on España’s right shoulder calmly. She had big, kinda poofy lips and a long wavy fringe completely covering the space where her eyes would have been. These were the Turtles of Tortuganity- Gift, Pasta and Pathway respectively. 

“Hóla!” España smiled at everyone and waved politely. (I have not written about España for like a year it’s such a weird feeling). Everyone just looked at him. Then Amaterasu spoke up.

“Supein... san?” 

“I prefer España, but sí!” 

“What. The. HELL?” That was Yahweh. Not the Yahweh Christians worship. The one from the dimension with a female Satan. 

“You make me ashamed to be me. How could one of my creations have even considered creating you?” That was the YHWH Christians worship. Yahweh huffed.

“Hey! Rude!” That was his creator. Matthew pouted from behind her door. She was quite proud of her own brand of theistic Satanism, even though it didn’t have a name yet. Everyone else ignored her.

“Who are you?” Allah politely asked España, choosing to ignore the warring Yahwehs in favour of being civil to the new god. 

“I’m the God of Tortuganity! It’s a human-founded religion from First World with only one member! Our beliefs focus on truth and finding peace within yourself.”

“It’s kinda like Buddhism but more trippy.” The head turtle, Gift, piped up. 

Then Santiago materialised and destroyed the entire meeting area place thing in **one fell swoop** because **S A N T I A G O**

**Author's Note:**

> España is a weird OC I created for the first lemon I ever wrote. Embarrassingly enough, the lemon was a Hetalia one which shipped Spain, Romano... and España. I deleted it from the Internet, but it’s probably floating around somewhere... I wrote it two years ago to be fair. Judging by the amount of kudos on Denial (my most recent lemon) I’d say I’ve improved considerably.
> 
> Prompt- A new, rebellious member of an interdimensional Council of Gods.
> 
> I tried to make it not quite the same as the meeting of Gods in prompt 314, but I had to correct ‘Luci’ to Satan a lot of times. Translating an MaDD-linked fantasy world into coherent storyline is surprisingly difficult...
> 
> Original Number- 168.


End file.
